Is My Spiritual Life as Thrilling as a Roller Coaster?

I went to an amusement park last week with the kids. It was fun, but in a much different way than when I was in 6th grade and going on roller coasters for the first time.

I had always been terrified, but when going with another family at the age of 11, I succumbed to the pressure and went on every ride that was on the souvenir cup. And boy, am I glad I did!

But this time, as a mom, was definitely different. You see, instead of enjoying the ride in a purely selfish fashion, I was on with my kids.

As we were zooming through the loop, upside down, I was watching my son's face as it turned white, trying to decide if this was a good idea.

As my daughter screamed at the top of the hill after the endless "click click click" I reached out and patted her hand.

And later, when it was dark because the sun had set (the BEST time to ride coasters!), I would strain my eyes to see what was coming so I could call out to her, "We're about to turn left," or "Small drop ahead!"

Then, near the end of the night, the adults took a turn on a ride that was for 54" and older. You know what that means... it was a SERIOUS ride.

As I sat down, my feet dangled in the seat, unable to reach the floor! The "click, click, click" was four times longer than the other rides we'd been on all day, and my heart beat faster as I reminded myself that this was, indeed, safe! I double checked the seat to be sure I was in tight.

Then down we flew, literally, I felt like I was flying, with my feet swaying like a little kid on a stool at the kitchen counter, savoring an ice cream cone and licking it off his hand as it drips. I screamed with abandoned. I laughed and raised my arms as high as they would go. I never wanted the ride to end!

As we walked down the exit ramp, I was still skipping and jumping and shouting. What a thrill!

And then we headed back to our kids, took a few of them to the bathroom, and life set back in.

For a moment there, though, I tasted freedom. Not from parenting. I love being a mom. But freedom from worries. Stress. Cares. Managing the feelings of other people. I felt completely safe in that seat, I loved the ride, and I trusted where it was going.

I so wish I could say that this was a picture of my spiritual life, but I can't. It's more of a battle between knowing the right thing and doing the right thing, even though I don't feel the right way about it. It's a struggle between flesh and the Spirit. I wish I trusted God with that abandon and let all my worries fly away so I could soar with Him wherever His track led.

That's probably impossible right now. Because there ARE worries and cares. Just when we cast them on Him, we get hit with another. And I cannot live in a selfish bubble, thinking only about the fun I'm having on my track with God. I have children and friends and family and my church family, and we are to hold each other up.

But... one day. Oh... one day! I truly believe that the freedom I felt, the joy and complete abandon I tasted, will be a reality! When we can live each day in perfection! Not fighting sin! Not battling with self. Not reacting to the sins of others! Can you taste it? Can you see it?

One day, we will go HOME. And then, we'll be starting the RIDE that will last for eternity.

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What will Heaven be like?

[Note: By "Heaven" I am referring to eternity, the new Heaven and New Earth, Rev 21, forever and ever, but it's easier to just say "Heaven." :) ]

I am allergic to adrenaline. Have I mentioned that? It's not been diagnosed or anything, but with one exception, roller coasters, I do not like to participate in activities that increase my adrenaline.

Like last weekend, we were out on a boat, and while my daughters were sitting in front, bouncing in the air with every bump and squealing with delight as the waves splashed their faces, I was planted in the back, holding on tight with my boys. I went to my five year old son for advice. "Why don't we like this? We like roller coasters!"

He wisely replied, "But on a boat, we can drown!" I agreed.

For my husband, Heaven would be an eternity of adrenaline-spiking activities. If I were there, I would think there was a mistake in the celestial book and I'd been sentenced to hell.

For me, I see Heaven as a place with unending relationships. Eternal, intensive, personal, intimate, sinless relationship building forever and ever. So many people to truly know and love without the baggage of sin: selfishness, greed, deceit. Ooh, I can't wait! Pour a hundredth cup of coffee and let's talk!

When I mentioned that delightful idea to my husband, he said, "Ugh, that sounds like a lot of work."

I'm sure the personality differences are beginning to be evident. I'll blog later about opposites attracting.

It made me laugh, though. How is God going to create a perfect eternity that suits all of us? I really don't have an answer, but it excites me to find out! Maybe I won't be allergic to adrenaline. Maybe my husband will grow a little more extroverted. Or maybe... it will be beyond anything we can even conceive of here on earth!

That gets me going! If You could design Heaven, what would it look like?


Above all, we'll be with Jesus, our Savior and Lord.

"Whom have I in heaven but You?

And besides You, I desire nothing on earth."

Psalm 73:25

Desiring nothing but Jesus on earth. That's a huge statement, and I'm making it my prayer today.

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An ornament from GG

Each year, my grandma GG made personalized ornaments for the kids in her family. I still have all of mine. As soon as we pull out the Christmas decorations, my children eagerly sort their ornaments from GG, talking about the memories that they hold.  

A few years ago, after hearing a sermon from one of our Pastors Joe Bartemus about Jesus as Emmanuel, God WITH us, she took his advice and made all of us ornaments with the word WITH on them. It always has a prominent place on my tree.

But last Sunday, as my family woke from our weekend camping trip, I received a call I didn't want to hear. My grandma GG passed away.

Hurrying home, I wanted to be where GG usually was on Sunday afternoons: surrounded by our families at my parent’s house. I cried in the backseat with my daughters the long drive home, listening to songs that helped the mourning process.

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Sometimes when people die, you’re ready. My grandpa, though I do miss him, suffered at the end and I was glad for him when he went Home. But though GG was 81, a full life, I wasn’t ready to lose her yet. Although I’m comforted with the words from Psalm 139, “all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be,” I just wish her days were a little longer.

I don’t know how we’ll ever play Scrabble on Sundays again – she was our faithful score keeper for years! We joked a few weeks ago that if she ever left us, we’d just shout out the scores and she could keep track for us in Heaven. We’ll find out who won when we join her there.

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I’ve written her obituary, which is a list of facts about her life, but the reality of who she was cannot be summed up with dates alone. She exemplified Galatians 5. The fruit of the Spirit in her life was evident to all who were privileged to know her.

• Love – Unconditional for her children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
• Joy – Spreading it with her big smile and good sense of humor. My mom and GG were always laughing with the various doctors they saw. She even spread her joy on email, facebook, and even Webkinz World with the kids! I loved having her out there.
• Peace – She did not have an easy life, but the peace of God was always evident. I never once saw her hurried or frustrated or impatient.
• Patience – This was evidenced by her perfect tolerance of the 10 little rugrats that ran around her ankles each Sunday! They were never a bother to her, even when they cried. She always welcomed them with a smile and a hug.
• Kindness –  She kept in touch with friends and loved-ones, sent Christmas letters every year. She took my other grandma to Bible Study every week and kept an eye on her. She was kind to everyone she met, always ready with a nice word.
• Goodness – She was full of good deeds, anonymously helping behind the scenes at church. She made personalized ornaments for all of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren each year. She never forgot a birthday, and each Valentine’s day, a letter from GG arrived in the mail with a dollar bill.
• Faithfulness – Faithful to her family and holding unswervingly to her faith.
• Gentleness – I never heard her utter a harsh word about anything or anyone, even when I thought she had cause to.
• Self-Control – GG didn’t have an easy life, but self-control was clear in her resistance to temptation. She also had self-control to keep her opinions to herself. So many older women get pushy with their ideas and are prone to slander, but GG offered her opinion when asked and only spoke good of others.

She would give all the praise to Jesus, of course.

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GG with one of her Webkinz

As I hang that ornament each year, I will still think of Jesus being WITH us, but now, GG is WITH Him. And I can’t wait to be WITH them both in glory.

  

Psalm 116:15

Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.

"When do we eat?" Looking Forward to Relationships in Heaven.

My pastor just finished a series titled "The End Is Near." My family -- parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles cousins -- have had fun discussing it around the dining room table on Sunday afternoons.

We've all been brought up with a Pre-Trib Rapture mindset, waiting for the trumpet to blow. I have always thought that I might as well be. It's the optimism in me. I'd like to think I don't have to go through the tribulation, and hey, that's optimistic, unless of course I'm proven otherwise when the sky starts to fall.

But in talking about the possibility presented that there won't be a pre-trib rapture, I started asking questions. "How do we get on the white horses?" "What happens during the thousand years?" "What about those who die during it?"

And most importantly:

"When do we eat?"

Isn't there supposed to be a big wedding feast? Sitting around talking with friends and eating for a thousand years?

Because really, (aside from looking forward to savoring and worshiping Jesus), I can't wait for the eternal friendships that Heaven will bring.

My sister in law laughed, "You don't care how or when it happens, you just want to have lots of people and food!"  Amen, sister!

I love friends. I love people. It's a huge passion inside of me. The downside of this is that nothing lasts. I was not the kid who had one best friend from kindergarten to high school. When circumstances or activities changed, so did my friends, even the very special ones.

It only gets more complicated as adults. When you get married, what do you do with your opposite sex friends? Then, not only do relationships have to match with my personality and time and schedule, it's a huge bonus if the spouses get along and the children don't hate each other.

Many times friendships revolve around ministries or a sports team or your job or convenience of location or (fill in the blank). And then just when you're really getting to know someone, they move, or change ministries, or send their kids to a different school.

Honestly, it can all be pretty discouraging. I can see why so many people get to middle age and are lacking in friends.

But I'm a social addict. That means I need people, so I will fight harder than most to make sure it happens. Isn't it sad, that I look at friendships as having to "fight" for them?

The upside? I know that one day, we will have an eternity to catch-up in Heaven. As I saw one friendship sliding away, I encouraged the friend with these words: "I'm looking forward to visiting your mansion a lot in Heaven."

Can you even imaging perfect relationships? No lies, hidden agendas, secret thoughts, or awkwardness? No gossip or slandering or betraying. No back stabbing. No thinking one thing and finding out another. No impressing or unhealthy competition. No limit on time.

Ahhh... now that sounds Heavenly.  Regardless of how the end happens, the bottom line is, it will happen. And by trusting in Jesus, I can have confidence that this "heavenly ideal" will be a reality. He came once, and He promised to come again. Now THAT is something worth getting excited over.