Monday, June 25, 2012

All Grown Up - Now What?

Mommy Mondays

In 3rd grade, I wanted to be an executive secretary for IBM. I loved filling out my pink “While You Were Out” forms and taking imaginary phone calls for my brother.

Other career aspirations were: Hollywood Actress, Singer on Broadway, Famous Author, Voice of a Disney Heroine, Missionary.

But the number one settled desire of my heart was to be a mom. When I imagined myself all grown up, I was living somewhere nice with 4-6 kids, playing games, making lunches, and going to parks.

And last week it hit me – I’m there.


Our girls, 11 and 8, just came back from their first week-long summer camp, and even though they crawled in at 10 PM, we sat and talked in their room until well after midnight. It was enchanting, seeing their faces light up as they shared the hilarious, embarrassing, inspiring, and entertaining events of the week. I went to bed with a contented smile.

Our four kids are all potty trained, we’re past the constraints of nap time, and I usually get a full night of sleep. (Hallelujah!) They love being together. Games have moved beyond Candy Land and into those that stimulate my brain cells. We draw together, paint together, read together, do laundry together, jump on the trampoline together… it’s a memory-every-moment kind of life right now.

I’m not talking perfect – we’re still on this side of eternity – but you get the idea. This life, where I am right now – underneath the laundry and dishes and Cheerios on the floor - has been my definition of “all grown up.”


The question posed before me this morning is:

“Now what?”

Pastor Nate Irwin spoke this week on Psalm 39, Show Me the Measure of My Days.

“O Lord, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days;
      let me know how fleeting I am!
Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, 
and my lifetime is as nothing before you.
Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!     
And to quote Benjamin Franklin:

“Dost thou love life?
 Then do not squander time, 
for that is the stuff life is made of.” 

It’s time for some vision planning. Hmmm… will this require a trip away to a cabin in the mountains, a luxury I often imagine that all writers indulged in? Ha, not a chance. It will consist of a cup of coffee, my Bible, and the early morning before they start to stir.

I don’t know what my next phase of growing up will look like, but in the now, I can prayerfully make the most of every moment. "God, what do you have for me today?"

What does this look like in your life? Have you ever reached a point of being all grown up?

At a Family Reunion


Jen said...

I can totally relate to this post! I have always wanted to be a mommy (among other things) and it has been surprising to me that it was not as easy as I had thought! But definitely better in so many ways than I could have imagined. Your post gave me lots of encouragement. I actually wrote about this, too, not too long ago!
And I could still picture you as a Disney voice actress when you grow up :)

kayla sue said...

i can totally relate to what you are saying. i have been thinking the same thing recently. i have been married a year and running a home and thinking about family planning. its a little surreal when that thought hits you, "i am grown up" but i love what you said about reflecting each day and asking God, "what do you have for me today?" great insight!

BeckyE said...

Jen - I'm laughing at the picture of you as a truck driver! So funny! And your blog is right - motherhood IS hard, and yet oh so rewarding.

Kayla - Thanks for your comment. I remember when I was working, fresh out of high school, and left work to go to the dentist. I didn't need a permission slip from my mom. I just rolled down the windows, enjoyed the summer air, and felt so grown up! :)